Getting married is a big step filled with hope. You are not just joining your life with someone but also becoming part of their family. You share experiences, grow together, and build a life. However, sometimes things go wrong, and you realize you cannot save the marriage. It is even tougher when your spouse uses emotional blackmail, like threatening to tell their mom about your divorce plans, knowing it will affect you.
What New Jersey law says about emotional abuse
In New Jersey, emotional control is a form of domestic abuse under the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. While physical abuse leaves bruises, emotional abuse causes hidden harm that can be just as damaging. These make come in:
- Always criticizing and putting you down
- Threats and intimidation
- Keeping you away from friends and family
- Controlling your money or what you do every day
- Using children to get at you
- Threatening to hurt themselves if you leave
These actions are meant to control you and make you feel powerless, making it seem impossible to leave.
How you can get legal protection
You deserve protection from all types of abuse, including emotional control. New Jersey courts can issue restraining orders specifically for psychological abuse. If you need protection:
- Document all incidents with dates and descriptions
- Save text messages, emails, and voicemails as evidence
- Note any witnesses to the abuse
The court will determine if the behavior causes serious emotional distress and if a reasonable person would feel threatened.
How emotional abuse affects divorce
Emotional control is taken into account during divorce when deciding about custody, support, and how to divide property. The well-being of the children is the top priority, and proof of emotional abuse can greatly influence custody decisions. A parent who manipulates their spouse might also show controlling behavior towards their children.
If your spouse controlled the finances during the marriage, it can affect how the court divides the assets. The court may consider this when dividing property. Judges will also look at whether the manipulation affected your ability to earn money or be financially independent.
Moving forward
You form family connections when you get married, but sometimes these relationships need to change to protect you. It takes courage to break free from emotional control, but you deserve a life free from psychological control. With the right legal help and documentation, New Jersey courts can protect you from emotional abuse during divorce. Remember, it is possible to maintain positive relationships with extended family even after a marriage ends, based on healthier and more respectful terms.